Jokes |
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A doctor and his wife were having a
big
argume...
Did you hear the new penalty for
speeding in I...
The surgeon told his patient that woke
up after ...
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a
bone.
Are you choki...
Doctor, Doctor I think I need
glasses
You certa...
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed
my
pen, wh...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
bell?
Take these a...
Doctor, Doctor I
think I'm
suffering from Deja...
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can
you
give me ...
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from
running?!
St...
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a
lot.
Don't wor...
Doctor, doctor I keep
thinking
I'm a bee
Buzz...
Doctor these pills you gave me for
BO...
What...
Doctor, Doctor everyone
keeps
throwing me in t...
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
sheep.
That's baaa...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
mosquito
...
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a
moth.
So why did yo...
Doctor, Doctor I keep
getting
pains in the eye...
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
spoon!
Well sit ...
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of
cards.
...
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something
for a ba...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there
is two
of...
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment
clear up my
...
Doctor Doctor I feel like a
racehorse.
Take one...
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps
thinking s...
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and
it's making m...
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second
opinion?
Of ...
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me
out!
Certa...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking
I'm God
When d...
Doctor, Doctor I keep
thinking
I'm invisible
...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
snake abo...
Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do y...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
snail
Don't worry ...
Doctor, Doctor I
feel like an
apple.
We must ...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
butterfly
Will y...
Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling
up!
Just simmer down...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can...
Doctor, Doctor I
keep painting
myself gold
D...
Doctor, Doctor I've broke my
arm
in two places...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
dog.
How long ha...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning
into a frog...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
yo-yo.
Are you s...
Doctor, Doctor I dream there are
monsters
unde...
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my
finger
her...
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my
finger
her...
Doctor Doctor I feel like
biscuits!
What, you m...
Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just
swallowed ...
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
pair
of curtains
...
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I
keep myself a...
Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a
bullet
...
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a
pen
Well...
Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming
invisible.
Yes I ...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking
I'm a frog
Wha...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
vampire.
...
Doctor how can I cure my sleep
walking?
Sprinkl...
Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she
is
a lift!...
Doctor: You seem to be in
excellent health. Yo...
Doctor:
You seem to be in
excellent health. Yo...
Doctor,
Doctor, everyone keeps
ignoring me.
...
Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like
a tee-pee ...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
dog.
Sit...
Doctor, Doctor I've a split
personality
Well...
Doctor, Doctor I keep
thinking
I'm a nit
Wil...
Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
caterpilla...
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my
tonsils, my...
Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth,
foul breath...
Doctor, Doctor my
husband smells
like fish
Po...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
spider
Wha...
Doctor, Doctor I'm a
burglar!
Have you taken an...
Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image
of his fat...
Doctor, Doctor I've lost my
memory!
When did th...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber
band
Why do...
Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a
liar
I can...
Doctor, Doctor I need something to
keep my
fal...
Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing
double.
Please sit...
Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an
insect
spinnin...
Doctor, Doctor I
think I'm a
moth
Get out of ...
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
dog!
Sit!...
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
needle.
I see your...
Doctor, Doctor
I'm having
trouble with my brea...
Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of
my head s...
Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I
do about
...
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get
to
sleep.
Sit on...
Doctor, Doctor
You've got to
help me - I just ...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm
a woodworm ...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
bridge
What's come...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm
an
electric eel
Th...
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python
You can't ...
The Doctor was
puzzled "I'm very
sorry but I c...
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I
in here?
...
A man walks into a doctor's office.
He has a c...
Patient: Doctor,
what should I do
if my temper...
A young woman went to her doctor
complaining of ...
Patient:
Doctor, I think I
swallowed a pillow....
A baseball manager who had an
ulcer was in his...
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering
from pneum...
Patient: Doctor, you must help me.
I'm under s...
Patient: Doctor, if
I give up
wine, women, and...
A man, seeking to lose
some of
his excess weig...
A doctor has come to see one of
his patients i...
A man went to see his doctor because
he was su...
Patient (to
cosmetic surgeon):
Will it hurt me...
Doctor: Did you know
that there
are more than ...
A new arrival, about to enter
hospital, saw two ...
Mary:
My daughter believes in
preventative med...
What's the difference between a
surgeon and a ...
The seven-year old girl told her mom,
"A boy in ...
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He
called a
...
Doctor: Have you ever had this
before?
Patien...
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My
son, John, swa...
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little
girl
doing w...
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the
waiting
r...
A doctor and a nurse were
called
to the scene ...
Doctor: Did you take the patient's
temperature?
...
Three nurses went to heaven, and were
awaiting...
Interns think of God, residents pray
to God, d...
What's the difference
between a
nurse and a nu...
A nurse was
showing some student
nurses throug...
A doctor is going round the ward with
a nurse an...
The nurse who can smile when
things go wrong i...
Why did the nurse always insist on
using the r...
Did you hear about the nurse who died
and went
...
How many nurses does it take to
change a light b...
How many triage nurses does it take
to
change ...
How many doctors does it take to
change a light ...
"The doctor said he would have me on
my feet i...
An old fellow came
into the
hospital truly on ...
A man goes to the eye doctor. The
receptionist...
Patient: I always see spots before my
eyes.
Doc...
A man needing a
heart transplant
is told by hi...
What's the difference between a
general practi...
What is a double-blind study?
Two
orthopaedists...
At a medical
convention, a male
doctor and a f...
How many physiotherapists
does it
take to chan...
"Why are you so
excited?", the
surgeon asked t...
"What do you do?" a young man asked
the beauti...
A man who was very
upset walked
in to see his ...
Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming of
bats, creepy-...
There were ten zebras in the zoo. All
but nine e...
Nurse: Would you like an appointment
for next we...
Jack went to see the camp nurse. 'I
fell last ...
Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better
today!
Ca...
A coffin was being moved
when it
fell off a wa...
The ninety-year-old man was in for
his checkup...
1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan
in the
re...
How can you tell who is the head
nurse
of a fa...
How many nurses does
it take to
screw in a lig...
Fireman rescued a
man who was
badly injured in...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm
God
When did...
Doctor, Doctor you've
taken out
my tonsils, my...
Doctor how can I cure my sleep
walking
?
Spri...
Doctor, Doctor will this
ointment
clear up my ...
Doctor Doctor I feel like a
racehorse.
Take one...
Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar
!
Have you taken a...
Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an
insect spinnin...
Doctor, Doctor I need something to
keep my fal...
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a
moth.
So why did yo...
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a
diet and
it's making m...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking
I'm a nit
Wil...
Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
caterpilla...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
snake abo...
Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red
magic markers ...
What kind of physician works on a
cruise liner...
What do you get if you have strep
throat on Frid...
Did you hear about the two
podiatrists who
ope...
The patient shook his doctor's hand
in gratitu...
Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle
of aspirin a...
Doctor, Doctor, my little brother
thinks he's a ...
A nurse had to
take a patient
back to her room...
When a car skidded on wet pavement
and struck a ...
The patient: Tell me, is it true that
alcohol ...
Jack: "My brother was sick and
went to the doc...
Doctor: "Good news you passed your
hearing test!...
"Doctor, doctor!" said the
panic-stricken woman,...
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