Jokes |
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How do you get pikachu on to a boat? You
pokem...
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and
...
There
was a guy walking down the street in
San...
Sherlock Holmes
and Matthew Watson were on a
c...
Big Louie the
Torpedo was becoming
increasingl...
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of
...
One afternoon, a man was riding in
the back
of...
Two friends: - I heard that you have
founded
a...
Two guys are talking:
(1) - I've bought a
tour ...
A newlywed couple, after bringing their
luggag...
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one
as...
A man was given the job of painting the white
li...
A man is hired by the circus to perform a
necess...
Abraham wanted a
new suit, so he bought a
nice...
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert
...
How many archaeologists does it take to change a
...
How many architects does it take to change a
lig...
How many brewers does it take to
change a
ligh...
How many cashiers does it take
to change a
lig...
How
many civil servants does it take to
change...
How many librarians does it take to screw in a
...
How many social
scientists does it take to
cha...
How many tax auditors
does it take to find a
$...
How many tax advisors does it take to change a
l...
How many applicants does it take to change
a
l...
Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and
discuss...
A wife and her
husband were having a dinner
pa...
A
young man was strolling down a street. As
he...
Once there was a millionaire
who had a
collect...
Three friends were stranded on a desert
island...
A girl walked over to her neighbor's for her
m...
There was an engineer who had an
exceptional
g...
Steve,
Bob and Jeff are all working on some
ve...
My mother-in-law is like a fine French
Impressio...
My
mother-in-law was bitten by a dog
yesterday...
Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with
...
I used to not get on with my
mother-in-law,
bu...
One day a wife complained, "This wall clock
almo...
Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies
toda...
A woman reported
the disappearance of her
husb...
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother
...
The young wife was in tears when she opened
th...
What is the difference
between a English
actua...
Did you hear
about the fire in the rednecks
li...
How do you cook vegatables in the
microwave
? ...
What's blue and sings alone? - Dan
Ackroyd....
Why did the janitor take early retirement?
Bec...
What kind of hair do
oceans have?
...Wavy ...
Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your
gra...
My mother-in-law has got
so many double
chins ...
Q. Why do bakers work so hard? A. Because they
...
After a visit to the circus, Geoff and Don were
...
Did you hear
about the ghoul's favorite
hotel?...
What happened to the wizard who ran away with
th...
A magician was employed by a
Shipping Line
to ...
A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last
...
At the scene of a bank raid
the police
officer...
When Fred was applying for
a credit card,
the ...
Bank manager: I'm sorry, sir, you can't open
an ...
What's the
best way to increase the size of
yo...
A man went in to the bank and asked to see the
...
Dad, did you manage to
fix my toy? No, it's
no...
What did the bell say when it fell in the water?
...
Did you hear about the man who jumped in the
H...
It was so hot when we went on holiday last
yea...
Clown: Why are you wearing such a large
shirt?
...
Q: How many Mafia
hitmen does it take to
chang...
Q: How many circus performers does it take to
ch...
Coleman
moved to Wyoming and was sitting in
th...
Seems a guy was driving for hours
thu
desolate...
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two
mot...
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the
re...
A young family moved into a
house next door
to...
A woman walks into a bank
in New York City
and...
A young banker decided to get his first tailor
m...
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove
...
At a
country-club party a young man was
introd...
Q: Why did the clown cross the road? A: To
fin...
Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So
hi...
Standing at the edge of the lake, a
man saw
a ...
An engineer, an experimental physicist, a
theo...
A monastery in the English countryside was
havin...
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday
i...
The garbage men were just about to leave the
s...
What's a cow's
favourite love
song?
When I fa...
Freda: Boys whisper they love me.
Fred: Well,
t...
What do you
call an amorous insect?
The
love ...
What did one amorous flea say to the other?
I
l...
How did the octopus lovers walk down the
road?
...
What do
lovesick owls say when it's
raining?
...
My brother's looking for a girlfriend. Trouble
...
Sharon: I'm so homesick.
Sheila: But this is
yo...
My teacher loves me - she puts
kisses
against ...
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I
l...
What does a man who loves his car do
on
Februa...
"Do you love me more than you love sleep?"
"I
c...
What do you call two
birds in love?
Tweethea...
What is the most romantic city in England?
Lov...
Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid?
H...
Why did the kangaroo love the little
Australia...
What did one bell say to the other?
"Be my
val...
What happened when the monster kissed his one
...
What would you get if you crossed a
monster
wi...
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
"...
A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why
d...
Camper: There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselor:...
Camper:
There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselo...
Camper: There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselor:...
The Counselor was greeting the new
campers.
'So...
The Counselor
was talking to the campers
about...
The head Counselor gathered all the campers
to...
At the
end of camp, Julie won the prize for
ne...
New camper: I
thought you said this camp has
n...
On the last day of camp everyone was asked the
s...
One day the counsellor got a
phone call. It
wa...
Sammy: My parents are sending me to
camp.
Tammy...
Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me
Steve...
Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp.
...
Pierre was a camper from France. In his
honour...
John was hard at work with
the broom in his
fa...
Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents
...
Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was
kille...
The
Rocky Mountains are very big and far
apart...
Dawn was
breaking over the camp grounds.
Tony ...
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped
Easter ...
How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. "You're welcome.
"...
How is a bell obedient? It sounds off only when
...
Why was the banker bored? Because he lost
intere...
Why can't you keep secrets in a bank? Because
of...
What kind of bell doesn't ring?
A
dumbbell....
If you need a loan, who do you see in the
bank?
...
What do you call a nun with a
washing
machine ...
What do you call a man who cleans out toilets
?
...
What do you call an Igloo without a toilet ? An
...
What do
you get if you cross a toilet with a
p...
They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by
lov...
What's a cow's favourite love
song?
When I fa...
Who does a ghoul fall in
love with?
His
ghoul...
Where do mermaids go to see movies?
...The
div...
How many bankers does it take to change a light
...
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife
...
Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in
...
Two cannibals just finished a big
meal and
one...
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I
ha...
What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career
...
So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down
...
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come
b...
After wedding a young couple rented a town house
...
The young Southern belle came to the hospital
fo...
What do you use to cut the ocean? A
seasaw...
What is the most breathless thing on television
...
Why did the teacher decide to become an
electric...
Did you hear about the man in the electric chair
...
What do you call a guard
with a hundred
legs? ...
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin
...
What do you call a bell
wearing a tutu
?
A be...
Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow.
W...
Do you love me?
Of course
Then whisper
somethi...
I'm not rich like Jack, don't have a mansion
l...
This morning I felt that today was going to be
...
What's the difference between a sigh, a car and
...
Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate
n...
Q: What's
black, white and read all over?
A: A...
What runs all day but
never gets tired?
Water....
Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden
...
Q:
How many Survivors does it take to screw
in...
So the bus
driver said to the string, "Are
you...
Q: Why couldn't the animals
on Noah's Ark
play...
Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad? A.
Al...
Q. What did Snow white say when her photos
did...
Q: Why did the haunted house not
like rain?
A:...
Q: What did the hat
say to the necktie? A:
You...
Q: How many
existentialists does it take to
sc...
Q: Why did the
scientist install a knocker
on ...
The strong young man at the construction site
...
The world's most incredibly lazy man found
a m...
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun
...
Martin asked David, "In which
state does the
O...
A man walks into a palm reader store and asks
th...
A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a
...
A guy goes to a girl's house
for the first
tim...
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I
ha...
Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go
...
Q. What do you call a ginger bread man wit one
l...
Do you know the difference between genius and
...
What's the difference between
ignorance and
in...
Why are
Saturday and Sunday so strong?
Because...
Q. What did
dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New
Je...
Q. Have you heard the latest
scandal? A. Dr.
P...
Q. Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because he
h...
Q. What is the bigest pencil
in the world?
A. ...
Question: What goes up and never comes
down?
A...
Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I
"NEE...
What do you call a tube with a degree? A
graduat...
Why did the boxer date the pretty girl? Because
...
What did one rock pool say to the other rock
p...
Where did the fortune-teller go on her
vacatio...
Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because
the...
Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To
w...
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A.
...
Which painter always had a very bad cold?
Vinc...
Mad men are given a test to prove they are
getti...
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